OSTEOSARCOMA SUCK -4 month today (update)

TODAY IS 4 MONTHS since Brutus was diagnosised with Osteosarcoma in his rear right leg.
His Vet  Dr Abadia said that cases can last any where from 1 month to 6 months (some longer).
Our family is so blessed to have him still in our lives even though it is taking a toll on him.

6:30 am

I get in the car and on the radio was playing  THESE SMALL MOMENTS, by Rob Thomas, which was playing on a channel that I never listen to. I truly believe in signs and this may be one of them. Please see the previous post on this song. I cherish this song as I cherish the small moments over the big momentous ones. The small moments I have spent with Brutus make me smile, laugh and cry. Small moments & memories just popped into my mind: He used to move his eyebrows back and forths to let me know he wanted to go outside, or how he owuld curl his lip up like Elvis, or did his hannibal lector sniffing when he smelled blood. How I wish he would do those again, just one more time. Wish I had gotten those actions on film.

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This weekend his "grandbaby" Brolly came over and with the way Brutus' slap happy tail  and his lickey lou tongue was going a mile a mintue  you wouldnt know he was a sickly dog during this time period.  Also his "Boy" Daniel came home to visit and spent some time giving him love, sadly  knowing it may be the last time they see each other (until the circle comes back together).



We have scheduled Brutus for Peace this Saturday Sept 17th to be done at our house so that he wont have to face the fear of the vets office. I want him to go peacefully in the place he knew he was loved and where he provided so much love. But if he isnt ready to go then I will cancel.  It is so hard to know what and when are the right decisions and when the time is right.

This morning

5:15 am  I noticed lately at night that Brutus has not been wanting to completely cover himself with the blankets. He is laying all over my bed barely moving (could be the Gabapentin). He didnt jump up to lick the lotion off my entire body as he used to but when I put my hand in front of him he did lick the lotion off.  I have also been noticing that he hasnt wanted to lay in the living room on his huge bed of pillows and blankies that I made for him 4 months ago.  He eats when I hand feed him mostly because it is how I get him to take his meds and its  a special "small moments"  time for me and him. I need to not hand feed him and see if he will eat on his own. He has always had a non-chalant attitude when it came to eating, usually only eats when he was hungry. He was never much of a begger or excitable at feeding time but he never had a problem eating from Mommy's plate. ( husband hated that ). This morning when I went to work he did not get up to tell me good bye.

I know Brutus is leaving me soon.  I am a little more accepting of this compared to even a few weeks ago. I dont want to let him go, yet I want him to go with dignity and pride.  It will be the kindest thing I can do for him. But I am selfish and still not completely ready to let him go.

Should he have more bad days than good this week then I will find the strength to let him go this weekend as scheduled.  I pray for more time and that he has more good days than bad....

9:53 am

I am sad yet happy of the little thoughts and memories that keep popping in my mind ; I always loved to walk Brutus as he always got compliments on what a GOOD LOOKING DOG he is and it opened the door to dispell all the Pit bull myths. Brutus was such a nice walker on the leash. Very gentle and never walked ahead unless you let him (sign of respect ). Happy thoughts

This picture he was at the park and really didnt even need his leash as he is such a good listener and never strays to far away.  He always looks over his shoulder to make sure we are still there.


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