RIP SWEET LONDON: Lessons from London and Brutus

                                                     RIP  London Antonio Jimenez-Caride
                                                         Grandma's Little Grand-Paws
                                                                       10-25-2011

Last night 10-25-2011 was an eye opener and because of some  of Brutus' lesson we were able to cope with a tragedy that came our way with heavy hearts but semi-clear minds:...

My son Daniels dog, London,  a minature yorkie who weighed about 5 lbs but full of attitude and love   was killed by another dog last night. It was an "accident" as the other dog's leash/collar broke  and  the  dog's  natural prey drive kicked in and he went after London.  In a dogs eye a small black object moving in the dark could be a rabbit or squirrel ect. Unfortunately within seconds , it only took one slap of its big paw and one bite to end this precious little dogs life .

My son is devastateded and I feel his pain very deeply as London  my GRANDPAWS. London will be sorely missed. He was such a cute, loving  and very well behaved dog.  He came into my sons life as a stray and was the light of my son and his partners lives.  I am not a big fan of small dogs but this little guy won my heart over instantly. There are no exact words to express the feelings that our family is feeling over the loss of  this sweet little guy.

I was so proud of my son, through his grief he was still  able to comfort the other owner who was freaking out, who was so upset and in shock at what his dog had just done and extremely remorseful over the loss of London . The owner kept saying that his dog is so sweet and has never had any issues before but now he will need to put his dog down because he has "turned" vicious.  Daniel begged him NOT to take such rash actions because his dog was just being a dog. That his dog was NOT vicious. That dogs are animals and he was sure that the other dog was only doing what animalistically comes naturally to them even if he never showed an ounce of prey drive before.  Daniel begged and pleaded for him not to put his dog down.

As devastating as it is to have lost London in such a manner we hope this owner uses this as a wake up call to educate himself on this issue so that London's death will not be in vain. Unfortunately sometimes it takes things like this to happen before you are forced to  learn about a subject that may have never crossed ones mind before. I truly believe that you dont know, what you dont know until the lesson has been brought to your attention. I hope this lesson will be truly learned and retained and maybe retaught to others..."When you know better ..you do better".

The lesson from Brutus here is that years ago  he taught our family so much on the issue of DOG ON DOG matters. He taught us the lessons we needed to learn on this issues. He made us educate ourselves on these issues  and that  you may never see an ounce of any of these but if you do it is right then and there you need to  step up to the plate and educate yourself  on the issue. He taught us how important it is to be a responisble owner, take the time to truly know your dogs temperment, body langauge and to train yourself and them. He also taught  what letting your dog be a dog and not humanizing them is all about.  I truly believe that because of Brutus' lessons, Daniel was able to handle this situation with such grace and dignity.

EDUCATION TIME:

There is a big difference between Prey drive, Dog on Dog  Aggression and DOG ON HUMAN AGGRESSION

All dogs have some level of Prey drive... lizard stalking , frog catching , bird and squirrell chasing .. all  are signs of prey drive. To think your dog does not is unrealistic.

High prey drive and dog on dog aggression DOES NOT MEAN YOUR DOG IS VICIOUS OR DANGEROUS !!!  An owner should  NOT ignore this as there are things you can do to prevent further issues. Protecting your dog and protecting others dogs should be top priorty . If your dog shows human aggression that is totally different  ball game  and the owner needs to make a commitment to address this behavior and  seek professional help right away. EDUCATION , EDUCATION, EDUCATION!!

Brutus' and now London also have taught us that no matter how much we try to humanize our dogs they are infact animals and as animals should be viewed and treated as such. That dogs will be dogs and most assuredly  animalistic behavior will win over our humanistic behavior almost every time.  It is the circle of life.

Good Bye my sweet little Guy, go run and play with Ms Tonka and Brutus at Heavens Bridge.


LONDON ANTONIO JIMENEZ

10-25-2011.

Hair on his chest

Brutus went to the bridge  with hair on his chest .....

                                                 What a handsome boy he was !!!
From the time Brutus was about 20 months old when he starting the beginning of his journey of fighting off allergies. I first noticed it when we had him neutered and microchipped. 

He was allergic to so many things.  Chicken , grains, carpeting , metals, grass , seasonal allergies.
His allergies manifested itself as yeast in his ears and skin, redness, cracking  and swelling in his face. chest, neck and legs and areas of balding in his coat mostly on his sides , legs and stomach. His chest always was the worse.  So many times it was raw and seeping.  The hair on Brutus' chest would come and go. He  did not have a full area  hair on his chest for years.

He lived on predinsone,benadryl pills and a assortment of creams and lotions.  He ate grain free foods.  He wore little boy clothes and the dreaded "cone of shame" to keep him from scratching.

His vet told me of  a medication that would help clear him up but warned it was extremely expensive. $100.00+ per month for possibly 3 months .  My budget has never allowed to me afford that especially with the possible side effects and no guarantee that it would work....


His allergies at its worse , this is his neck and ear. He wore clothes
so that he wouldnt scratch himself raw

How ever when his cancer was diagnosed his vet gave him some Antirobe just in case it wasn't cancer but an infection in the bone  and he said that even if it wasn't an infection it would help with his skin .  It was extremely expensive, over $100.00 for 30 pills but at that point I was willing to pay what I could to give Brutus a fighting chance. It turned out that Brutus did not have a bone infection but indeed was bone cancer and just as the vet said  it cleared his skin issues  right up .... he was clear up to the day he died.

Good day at the park in the grass

Had I truly known that it would have worked then  I would have some how found the extra money. If I totalled all the money that I spent on special diets , antibiotics, benadryl ,special shampoo's, baby clothes, non allergy laundry soap ..the $100.00 for possible 3 months would have been cheaper in the long run  and sooo sooo  much healthier for Brutus...


minimal allergies while playing in the grass ..before he would already be super red and bumpy

But I am thankful that the Antirobe helped Brutus in the end, I am thankful that he didn't have to battle the allergies and cancer at the same time.  I am thankful that he went to heaven with a beautiful  coat and
                                               Soft Silky hair on his chest.

                                                      
to learn more about allergies in dogs please click on Brutus' above .

AS HE LIVED..SO SHALL I

 A  comment was recently written in response to my last blog 4 weeks without Brutus.
It has hit a cord with me :

From Prue Batten from Tasmania AU
My family is moving on as well after our Jack Russell Milo's passing three weeks ago. But it's a moving on filled with wonderful memories... we regret nothing and in true dog-fashion, we learn from Milo that life is for the taking, for enjoyment and for living. He would not want us to grieve and mope. I think Brutus would be the same. I just watch dogs when we are out walking and the biggest lesson they teach me is to enjoy the moment, be spontaneous, keep living. Wonderful post, thank you.

Thank you Prue for the kind and wonderful words of wisdom.

I  am having a very hard time not having my TEACHER OF MANY LESSONS at my side, but when I saw how many people showed up for The Pit Bulls Pounding the Pavement walk and saw how his legacy has touched so many lives of both dogs and humans , I knew deep down inside that BRUTUS had made a difference.

SILLY HAPPY TIMES

 Even though my heart has fought it I know that I Must keep my chin up, live every mintue to the fullest, give all my  love  easily, freely and unconditionally. To behave in a stoic yet playful goofy way and to always  be enthusiastic and almost comically happy to see my family and friends.
If I do this then I do shall have no regrets.
I know in my heart that Bru wouldnt expect, or want anything less from me . When he was here he demanded me to be all that I could be (a well adjusted, centered,  responsible owner) because he needed me to be.

SO AS HE LIVED, SO SHALL I ...

4 weeks without Bru -Purpose,Faith& In Time

                           PURPOSE , FAITH & IN TIME

PURPOSE:

The object toward which one strives or for which one exists

And ever those, who would enjoyment gain/Must find it in the purpose they pursue" (Sarah Josepha Hale).

FAITH:

Faith is trust, hope and belief in the goodness, trustworthiness or reliability of a person, concept or entity. It can also refer to beliefs that are not based on proof yet felt in the heart

IN TIME:
Within an indefinite time; eventually
 

Today is has a been a month since our beloved boy left us.

    Even though I still miss him terribly I am able to say his name without crying. I can smell his scent with only a little welling up but not the full on ugly cry that followed his passing.  I miss him sleeping with me. I miss our bedtime routine. I miss him waking me by his incessive licking and tail massages. I am trying to get used to having Ninnie and Shaft sleeping with me and thier sleep patterns.I try to light candles in his memory every night yet even that is less and less now. Our family circle  is moving forward yet it  is definately broken and the dynamics in our house are so different. But life is moving forward.
      I am still angry over the fact that he had this horrible disease and that all the  praying done on his behalf by myself and so many others  didn't produce the miracle that he so deserved and I begged and pleaded for.  My faith has never been strong but I tried so hard for Brutus' sake to have faith and believe.   Yet his well deserved miracle didn't happen. Any  Faith and Belief  that I had has now been shaken to it's core.


His last night with us
please click HERE

      I guess the only thing I have left to believe in is that the miracle was that he came into my life in the first place along with the lessons he provided me and our community.     Per the last few posts, life is moving forward with out him.  I still have Shaft and Ninnie to take care of .   I am afraid to give my heart so freely to them as I know the heartache that will come in the future.  I know that in my heart I need to move on and in Brutus' memory give Shaft and Ninnie my all.  To finish where he left off. But my heart is just not there yet.  I am hoping that in a month from now that I will be writing how I have been able to find the heart and will to continue his legacy through Shaft and Ninnie.  They both deserve nothing less than 100% of my time and heart.

I believe that Brutus' came to me with a purpose. A purpose that was realized and  fullfilled.


BRUTUS' LEGACY LIVES ON  -4 th annual Pit Bull Awareness day Oct 10 2011
click on picture for more info

     I will try to have faith that in time his memory will help me to continue to help others as was done in the past but right now I am just not feeling it ...my passion is just not there anymore.

     I pray that  faith and purpose will in time help my heart to be re-opened to the  two that are still with me. The two who  are so patiently  waiting for me to come back to them in the full spirit that  once was and is  meant to be.
    Moving forward with  Purpose and Faith in mind,  I hope in time  to find the strength and will to be able to make new happy memories with them so that when their time comes I wont have any regrets.

Oh Brutus , (deep sigh) even though you are not physically here ..your lessons continue to come to me.......

                                                

MOVING FORWARD

While Brutus was sick, I took my bed off its frame and sat it on the ground so that he could reach my bed without to much effort or having to jump up and down which could have caused him to break his leg.

Last night I put my frame to my sleigh bed back together and I washed the sheets and blankets.
I know it is gross that I havent washed my linens for almost month but I wasnt ready to let go off his scent that permiated through out my room.  I washed all his blankets that he had on the side of the bed.  I did however leave one blanket that had his scent unwashed and I placed into a pillow case and made a pillow out of it .  I did not wash "his pillow". I am not ready for that yet.

When it was bed time Ninnie jumped up on the bed and I swear she was laying in a same position that I had a picture of Bru doing .. like smelling the fresh linens and in deep thought. By the time I got the camera , she had moved.  But I was able to get the picture above.  Brutus' teddy bear is on my bed and its funny/peculiar how she has NOT touched it. Ninnie is our household teddy bear destroyer yet his bear goes untouched.  I TRULY BELIEVE THAT A DOGS NOSE -KNOWS

After putting my bed back together and putting on clean linens I started to Vacumn my rug. All of a sudden my heart rate was racing and  there was a ping in my heart. I realized that I no longer have to place sheets and blankets all over the carpeting and if I wanted to I start using carpet fresh. Brutus was highly allergic to both. BIG BIG SIGH..no tears just a deep sigh of sadness...hummmm

Signs of acceptance.

BRUTUS CHEWED MY BED AS A PUPPY

BRUTUS AND DANIEL



BRUTUS AND BOY DADDY DANIEL
September 14th 2011

Daniel came into to town just to say his good byes to his "Bruuuu-tis".
He spent good quality time with him and loved him all up.
Brutus was so happy to see his oldest boy daddy.
It was hard for Daniel to say good bye knowing it would be the last time he would see him.
SWEET MEMORIES



A photo album shows you have lived

 birth certificate shows you were born.
A death certificate shows you have died.
A photo album shows you have lived

Brutus' Legacy Lives on

Yesterday was a testament that BRUTUS' life was not in vain and that his Legacy to help the betterment of the Pit Bull Breed and Community WILL LIVE ON!!

Yesterday Oct 8th 2011 -
 Ybor City FL was the setting for the most wonderful
 PIT BULLS POUNDING THE PAVEMENT EVENT  EVER !!!!!  Brutus was my inspiration behind Pit bulls Pounding the Pavement.

There was approximately 120+ dogs and responsible owners at our Annual Pit Bull Awareness Month event. Almost double what we have had in the past. So many dogs and handlers in one small area at Gaspars Grotto Patio and Grill. Everyone had a great time. In the evening it began to rain ( no lightening) so I danced in the rain and It felt like Brutus was there with me. The whole event went way smoother than any other event. Every one was unified and there as ONE for the breed.  It was a perfect event.

We had wonderful vendors :
 Pibbles to the Rescue, Pit Bull Happenings, HCAS Pit Crew, HCAS adopt Program, ITrainU, Petsupermarket, and my most favorite of the day ,
TAMPAPETS.ORG
 whose awesome artist Anna Hamilton was there and she memorialized Brutus on the Grotto's wall. Gaspars Grotto was were our first Big Walk took place.It was only befitting to havehim there with us... in spirit and on the wall.                                    
           BRUTUS WILL BE FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS
                                AND ON THE WALL




Even though I still want Brutus to be here with me I feel this is one of the best memorial I can give him



3 weeks with out Brutus



BRUTUS MEMORIALIZED at Gaspar's Grotto

          



You can shed tears that he is gone,
             Or you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back,
            Or you can open your eyes and see all he's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him,
           Or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
          Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of
                              yesterday.
You can remember him only that he is gone,
          Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your
                            back.            Or you can do what he'd want
smile, open your eyes, live, love and go on

It has now been 3 weeks without our beloved Bru and the tears are less and the smiles are more.

I smile as I am thankful to have had the prevledge to have had him in my life. i smile because I can now get past the full blown self pity crying attacks to see the little things and happy moments and memories that randomly pop in my head. Random memories  like ....when we would be having our silly moments together  I used to call him to me  with my lips in full  airplane propeller mode   BRRRRRRRRRRRRutus ..

The anger over the way we lost him as subsided a little bit. Brutus always provided me with lessons that I needed to learn.  He taught me about this horriable disease and what a true fighter really is . He taught me that sometimes leaving is the kindest and most unselfish thing to do , for yourself and for others.

               

2 weeks without Brutus

Brutus' Final Resting Place

                                                           
Today has been 2 weeks since our beloved Brutus left us.  The first week or so I was sooo numb and couldnt say his name without crying.  The worse days were when we had to actually let him go, when I felt his last breath , then we brought him home for his final resting place and lastly the  day I realized his crate with all his favorite blankies and Winnie the Pooh baby bumper would be forever empty. The realization of the past months, days and moments hit me like a ton of bricks...That Brutus was gone and was never coming back.

Big Bad Pit bull loved his Winnie the Pooh bumper

I will not lie, I am not a strong person and losing Bru has put me in a total state of indifference.I am still wandering the house expecting to see him. I am still extremely angry that there is such as thing as Canine Cancer , Osteosarcoma in particular. Watching my once healthy boy  weither away as he gave it  his all to stay with us and with  such dignity. Watching him deteriorate and watching him  struggle  to hang in there as long as he could totally has devastated me.  I couldnt do anything to keep him here. I couldnt help stay. I could only ease his pain by letting him go.  I know his big ,  brave and strong  heart would have battled forever so that he could stay with us  longer but his body failed hiim in the end. His body failed him way before his will did. My strong boy was so strong willed and left as he lived : a True Braveheart and  Gentleman . I wish I could be as strong as he was.  I wish that I had 1/2 the character and selfishless devotion that he gave so willingly and freely. Even though I still have two other wonderful dogs in the house..the house seems empty. I know that he was in pain and needed to go and letting him go was right for HIM, but obviously my selfishness still wants him here with me.....our house is empty and our family is broken without him.

However life has moved on with out our precious boy and a testament to that fact is that last night I found Shaft ( our 11 year old staffy mix)  laying comfortably inside of Brutus' crate, sniffing and licking the baby bumper. Where as Brutus and Ninnie found thier crates to be a place of comfort, quietness and safety,  Shaft has NEVER liked the crate, was uncomfortable in one  and would Never have anything to do with anything that constricted his movement.  So to see him  freely laying in Brutus' crate was good for the soul and an affirmation that life does go on.

Brutus may not be here in body but  will forever be in my heart and soul and his gifts to his family will never be forgotten. He was a true blessing in so many ways and brought such great joy and pride into our lives.
I am a better person because of him and I will carry that with me until I join him at the bridge.

Brutus' footprint