Just the Two US

Garage time ..

The garage is a very special place for Brutus and I. Just the two us.

Whenever I go into the garage for what ever reason it may be I always have company. All I have to say is "Garage" and I hear the pitter patter of Bru's
pitite paws racing to the door. He used to almost knock me down trying to beat me to the door, now a now a days he hobbles on three legs as fast as he with the tenacious heart as before but his body defies him and he is much much slower.

A while back during one of garage visits Brutus found a tennis ball and I tried to play fetch with him but he refused to let go of the ball. Being the dominant dog that he is there was no way he was going to let go of the ball. So I chased him around the garage until we were both hot and tired. I was determined to teach him to play catch and in doing so work on the "Sit and wait Look at Me, Let go, or Give me" commands. This became a daily habit with us and he soon learned that giving up the ball was a good thing. We have lots of fun with our one on one time. There are still times that his feisty attitudes shows up and he will play "kept away from Mom" and we play chase in the garage or I fight him for the ball.. its all in good fun ..and again its our special time.

Unfortunately the length of time we have been spending in the garage is dwindling. It breaks my heart to see my once super strong boy struggle to get his ball and want to stop after a few "get it boy" and "Bring to Momma's". throws. But I cherish every special moment as it is STILL OUR TIME TOGETHER.

At this point he still has the "will and want" to go to the garage to find his ball. I live in fear of the day he no longer wants to go to garage anymore. I can not let him see my fear and sadness. I will encourage and cheer him on until the end. THESE PRECIOUS MOMENTS I TREASURE NOW AND WILL FOREVER. ....ME AND BRU'S SPECIAL GARAGE TIME

Thunderstorms, rain and the dishwasher

Every summer we get our typical afternoon Florida thunderstorms. With the slightest sound of thunder in the far of distance ( which dogs hear before we do) Brutus will start his whining and can't get close to one us quick enough. He runs to the living room like a scared child. He jumps on the couch and buryings himself in the pillows. He doesnt shake or anything. I geuss the pillows and us just being in the same room provides him comfort.

We have learned not to leave him in a bedroom with the door shut when we are not home because his fears is so bad he tries to eat through the door/wall (picture above).

When I turn on the dishwasher , he has the same reaction. I must admit that my dishwasher is very loud and the I can see where he thinks it thunder and rain.I have tried all kinds of ways to help him with his fear of the dishwasher. Even taking all his blankets and pillows and laying down next to it,eating my lunch and reading a book in efforts to show him that it wont hurt him. He isnt having any of it.

After the storms are over he wont go outside and when he does he acts like the wet ground will kill him or something. It's kinda funny to see this strong willed Pit bull act like such a sissy la-la over wet grass. God forbid it start to sprinkle on him when he is outside as he can't get inside the house quick enough.

Nightly Routine

Every night we have a routine and ritual that we go through prior to settling in for a good nights sleep. This has been going on for years. It used to be right around 9:oo pm he would go to my room, jump on the bed and bark to let me know it was bed time. If I didnt acknowledge him, he would whine/bark and it got louder and louder until I responded or came into the room. Once me and my husband swore he barked "RIGHT NOW"...

Over time this has waned some what but he still claims my bed as his own. WHich he has done since the first day he came into our lives. I know , I know, I know.. I have heard it all already..that he is dominating me and dogs shouldnt sleep in bed with me ect, ect, ect. . My husband worked the graveyard shift for so many years and Brutus gave me a since of security. There were many nights I awoke to find him in a protection stance at the foot of my bed . So I dont care what people say.. I am fine with him claiming the bed as his.. he has earned it.

THe next step in our ritual is that I lotion myself up,from head to toe and he would promptly lick it all off. It feels like a mini dermabrasion sometimes. LOL Many nights I have been awaken due a tickling sensation in my feet only to find that Brutus was busy licking the lotion of my feet and legs. ( NO LOTION OR AREA WILL GO UNLICKED!!!)


The third would be that once I get settled under my covers , he will jump in bed at the head of the bed right next to me and dive under the covers and belly walk his way to the middle or the end of the bed. He never came back out. He likes to be fully covered..snout to tail. I worry that he will suffocate. I try to make a little opening at the foot of covers but he covers it back up. He stays covered up until I wake up or he hears something that will send him to investigate.


In the morning I usually wake with him cleaning my face and inhaling my horrible bad breath. NOW that is true devotion!!!!

OSTEOSARCOMA SUCKS!!!! PART 2 (3 MONTHS)

These pictures were taken on August 8th, almost 3 months post diagnosis. He holds his leg up and rarely puts it down. He only puts it down to go poop.

The hard boney tumor area is now measuring 8' circ and 3" in length.

He is deteriorating faster than I want to admit. He has lost some weight, and a lot of muscle mass in his leg and hip. When he lays down you can see his hip/butt bone more predominately.

His energy level has drastically slowed down. However he is still showing the will and spirit to live. He still chases is ball in the garage ( see post on Just the two of Us) on three legs and jumps onto his favorite spot on the couch. He still eats his meatballs laced with pain meds, 2 hamburgers and 1 cup of dry food. He still goes outside to "Pee- Pee" and ect. He is still enjoying basking in the sun and eating his daily rations of grass (who knew I had a part pit part cow LOL).

The boney tumor is prone to break the limb and can not be repaired (due to this type of cancer eats the bone from inside out ) . If he were to break his leg it would be an immediate death sentence as the leg could not fixed and I could not bare for him to be in that kind of pain.

So I have "Brutusized" my house. I have place blankets and pillows in all his favorites spots. I make sure that the "splash zone" around the water bowl stays dry at all times so he doesnt slip. I have taken my sleigh bed apart and have placed the box spring and mattress on the floor so that he can jump in bed at bedtime with ease. When this height becomes to much for him, I will place only the mattress on the floor or I will sleep on the flat floor with him. I have done all this to ensure that he is as comfortable and in the least amount of pain as possible.

He is not the same dog physically that he was 6 months ago but his love, heart, will and loyalty has never waivered. I have vowed in his time of need that mine will neither

At this point it is all about his quality of life. limiting his pain and making sure he knows he is a very much loved member of this family. I dont know how much longer he will be with us and I pray that I will have the strength to let him go. Until that day I will cherish every precious moment I have with him.

OSTEOSARCOMA SUCKS!!!! Part 1

Since the fateful day of May 12, 2011, when our vet sadly told us that Brutus indeed had Osteosarcoma I have tried to educate myself as much as possible on this horrible cancer.

Basically Osteosarcoma is a cancer that eats the bone from the inside out . Experts states its amounts to a slowing exploding bone. That amputation , chemo-radio therapy and pain meds are the only options available to treat this cancer.

Our vet said that he was not a good candidate for amputation of the leg due to Hip Dysplasia ( also found at that visit). He explained that Bru could have a life expectancy of 3-6 months. That 6 months would be pushing it. Xrays showed some specks in his lungs which means this was already metastazing. Since the surgery and treatments was something I could never afford and there was no guarantee of a cure so that option was ruled out. I also felt it would be cruel to put him though so much suffering only to have him live for maybe additional 6 -9 months. Dr Abadia was very compssionate as he recommended that I take Brutus home with a pain management plan and to spend our time together just loving him and cherishing every moment .

I left the office devastated and totally confused. Even though I am in the medical field, I have no exposure to animals cancers or even what to expect. So I hit the internet looking for any and all info on this cancer , My devastation turned to panic and fear. There was a lot of articles on the issue and even xrays to show what a vet looks for but there was not pictures available as to what to visually expect or what the stages would look like. That is why I am trying to document the changes and stages.

In the beginning Brutus only had a limp and favored his leg. The Picture above is of Brutus at 2 months post diagnosis. The boney tumor is starting to show and he only could minimal weight on his leg. He would still walk on it and would slightly pull it up when he was stationary

Today is 3 months post diagnosis ( see part two on next psot) and even though he is slowing down , he is still with us, wants to be with us and is in minimal pain....if thats all he can do... then I will TAKE IT !!!!

Because of Brutus ......

Brutus will never know or understand what he has done for the pit bull community or for me!!!

Brutus ignited a passion in me to learn as much as I could about the breed and to educate myself on how to be a responsible pit bull owner. THis led me to want to educate the public about the breed and in doing so I have met such wonderful people, including my two TRUE BFFS , Lisa and Debbie. Along with meeting my extended pit bull familes at Mid Florida American Pit Bull Terrier Association. For this I will be forever indebted to him and this is what I cling to during this period of time of uncertainty and sadness

Because of Brutus: Pit Bulls Pounding the Pavement was started in efforts to promote responsible ownership and postive breed image. Monthly Pit Bull Dog Walks with an upwards of 50+ Pit Bulls of all shapes and sizes  proved to the public what an awesome breed this is, that most owners are hard working repsonsible owners who love and care for thier dogs &  not to buy into the Media hysteria and  stereotypes that so profoundly effect our breed and thier futures.

Because of Brutus and my new found passion I volunteered at Hillsborough county animal services in 2006 and wonderful things started happening for this more than often abused , negelected and over populated breed.
Because of Brutus .. the Pit Bulls in the Hillsborough County are seeing a better day and future.

Because of Brutus, I am better human being. Through his eyes and actions , I saw that I needed to step up and be the owner he needed and deserved.

Because of Brutus .. I learned humility and forgiveness.
Because of Brutus .. that at mid age I finally understood the true meaning of unconditional love for all .. two legged and four legged.

TODAY ..another reality and lesson

TODAY IS AUGUST 6TH- ANOTHER DAY BLESSED TO HAVE HIM STILL WITH US

Last night I sat in the shower and did one of those UGLY CRIES as this heartbreak is taking its toll. I know all too soon that my boy will no longer be with us. It is not fair and soo sooo not right. He does not deserve this, he should have the opportunity to get old ! I am so upset and angry !!!

I measured Brutus' boney tumor on his hind leg this morning . Today it is 8' circ and 3" in length. It has grow so much in the last 2 weeks . I know this has to be so uncomfortable for him yet he still gets up to play with his mommy in the garage ( chasing his ball) ,he still can not figure out why he cant get to the roosters who crow next door but he still tries through the fence, he is still eating his 2 hamburgers and 4 meatballs (laced with pain meds) and about a 1/2 cup of his dry dog food (Call of the Wild Salmon ), going out side to the bathroom and even hobbles on 3 legs to the mail box with me, and wants to go on car rides ( which he hates but he lately has been wanting to go for rides). He is definately slowing way down and I see the signs of deteration. His once almost deadly tail wags are less deadly. He still wags it but its with less enthusiam . My once strong and proud boy is losing so much mass and muscle.

Our promise to Bru is that as long as he is still showing signs of life ( quality of life is important ) that we will cherish each day with him but when quality is not there and he starts showing pain, not eating , not getting up to go to the garage for Mommy time, ect.. then we will do what we have to for him. With love and compassion we will at that time say good bye to one of our most precious loves of our lifes.

Today is not that day .. and I am thankful !!!

FOOT NOTE **another lesson he has provided me is to live in the moment , to live and love unconditionally, fully & freely and be thankful for each and every cherished moment !!!!!