Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Monday, March 19, 2012
Thinking of you today- THE NOTE PAD
I came across an note pad that I had by my bed. It has been there since you before you passed.
I was thumbing through it and found one page some notes that kinda took my breath away...
the notes where of your activity for two days .. Sept 4 and 5, 2011 .
notes verbatim:
9/4/11 Sunday
Rose visited
He barked at the kids outside
Danny says he thinks things are getting worse and its getting bigger.
9/5/2011
100 mg Gabopentin 50mg rimadyl
10" circ
lower leg and foot 5 1/2 circ
foot swollen
Ate: both morning /night meals ...cookies
played ball outside ran chase after ball with great strength
_________________
Urinated and bowel movement x2
jumped up on couch to sleep
1pm went for front yard walk
got his blie squeeky and jumped into bed.
didnt want to stand up to eat evening meal- hand feeding all (1/2 special moment 1/2 nursing care)
another page obvious written before this one says
Brtuus
Bru-ti-ful
Boo-ya theres my nose
another page and another unbreathable moment and I am thinking to myself right now that
DAMN IT! DAMN IT ! DAMN IT!!! I couldnt keep the cancer from hurting you .... you always stood by me when I had bad days and being bi polar I had many... you always protected me but I failed to protect you.
This is what was written on the page. A song by the Pretenders called "I"ll Stand By You "..
on the page ...in my handwritting ...
I'll stand by you even in your darkest hours
I wont let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
I was thumbing through it and found one page some notes that kinda took my breath away...
the notes where of your activity for two days .. Sept 4 and 5, 2011 .
notes verbatim:
9/4/11 Sunday
Rose visited
He barked at the kids outside
Danny says he thinks things are getting worse and its getting bigger.
 |
| Rose came to say good bye as she knew it wouldnt be long before Brutus would leave us |
9/5/2011
100 mg Gabopentin 50mg rimadyl
10" circ
lower leg and foot 5 1/2 circ
foot swollen
Ate: both morning /night meals ...cookies
played ball outside ran chase after ball with great strength
_________________
Urinated and bowel movement x2
jumped up on couch to sleep
1pm went for front yard walk
got his blie squeeky and jumped into bed.
didnt want to stand up to eat evening meal- hand feeding all (1/2 special moment 1/2 nursing care)
another page obvious written before this one says
Brtuus
Bru-ti-ful
Boo-ya theres my nose
another page and another unbreathable moment and I am thinking to myself right now that
DAMN IT! DAMN IT ! DAMN IT!!! I couldnt keep the cancer from hurting you .... you always stood by me when I had bad days and being bi polar I had many... you always protected me but I failed to protect you.
This is what was written on the page. A song by the Pretenders called "I"ll Stand By You "..
on the page ...in my handwritting ...
I'll stand by you even in your darkest hours
I wont let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Saturday, March 17, 2012
5 months since Bru slipped away
My dearest Brutus ..
It has been more than 5 months since my boy Brutus passed away .
Life has gone on without him but the great memories are with me always. I still find myself from time to time getting misty eyed and wishing he was here. But the pain of losing him is now a little more bearable. I still find myself clinging to his memories and instead of crying I find myself smiling more and more at the mention of his name.
My 4 year old grandson Brian always tells me that he "misses Boo- Boo and wishes he could see him again." He laughs and tells me how Boo-Boo's tail was so funny..and that he misses his tail. (Brutus' tail was a true tail of fast love thumps and his licks where almost too too much )
It has been more than 5 months since my boy Brutus passed away .
Life has gone on without him but the great memories are with me always. I still find myself from time to time getting misty eyed and wishing he was here. But the pain of losing him is now a little more bearable. I still find myself clinging to his memories and instead of crying I find myself smiling more and more at the mention of his name.
My 4 year old grandson Brian always tells me that he "misses Boo- Boo and wishes he could see him again." He laughs and tells me how Boo-Boo's tail was so funny..and that he misses his tail. (Brutus' tail was a true tail of fast love thumps and his licks where almost too too much )
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)