Thinking of you today- THE NOTE PAD

I came across an note pad that I had by my bed. It has been there since you before you passed.

I was thumbing through it and found one page some notes that kinda took my breath away...
the notes where of your activity for two days .. Sept 4 and  5, 2011 .

notes verbatim:

9/4/11 Sunday
Rose visited
He barked at the kids outside
Danny says he thinks things are getting worse and its getting bigger.

Rose came to say good bye as she knew it wouldnt be long before Brutus would leave us

9/5/2011
100 mg Gabopentin  50mg rimadyl
10" circ
lower leg and foot 5 1/2 circ
foot swollen
Ate: both morning /night meals ...cookies
played ball outside ran chase after ball with great strength
_________________
Urinated and bowel movement x2
jumped up on couch to sleep
1pm went for front yard walk
got his blie squeeky and jumped into bed.
didnt want to stand up to eat evening meal- hand feeding all (1/2 special moment 1/2 nursing care)

another page obvious written before this one says
Brtuus
Bru-ti-ful
Boo-ya theres my nose

another page  and another unbreathable moment and I am thinking to myself right now that
DAMN IT! DAMN IT ! DAMN IT!!!  I couldnt keep the cancer from hurting you .... you always stood by me when I had bad days and being bi polar I had many... you always protected me but I failed to protect you.

This is what was written on the page.  A song by the Pretenders called "I"ll Stand By You "..
on the page ...in my handwritting ...
I'll stand by you even in your darkest hours
I wont let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you