I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.
*Emily Dickinson"
I can not believe that today marks the one year anniversary of my beloved Brutus' passing.
Brutus came into our lives for a reason and a season. His life and struggles were not in vain. His life was not
without purpose or without positive results.
I still find myself randomly crying for him and every once in a while I still "smell" him.
The day he slipped away was a day that I thought the pain, the heartbreak, the anger, the anguish, the lost of faith and hope would never subside. Some how as time has bitter sweetly passed, I have found myself being humbled over and over again at how blessed I was to even have had this wonderful creature in my life.
Other the year Brutus' lessons continue to show themselves in very wondrous ways... sometimes in small subtle ways and others like a rock thrown to my forehead. His memory and spirit shines through when really needed the most.
He taught me what being a quiet unassuming warrior is really about., he taught me that through the pain there is forgiveness unconditional love and soul saving surrender. He taught me to stand strong to who I really am and who I want to be. Not to accept the "status qou" and question the so called higher earthbound powers and even question the higher heavenly bound powers.
He has taught me GRACE AND DIGNITY .
He taught me how "That letting go and fully surrendering" is not always such a bad thing.
It is in the manner in which you chose to let go and surrender. If you do it with grace and dignity all the "other stuff" will either fall in place or fall away.
He taught me to WALK IN BEAUTY:
That no matter who you are, what your upbringing, your faults or your demons, its your heart's intentions that really only matters.
Being Pure of Heart, having a quiet mind , a clean conscious is all one really needs to walk that path. Walk in Grace and Beauty every day and all will fall in place or fall away.
One year ago today I lost a very big part of me , but every day I try to live in his memory.
I try to do better, I try to live better, I have let go of so many things that took my time away from him, my family and true circle of friends. So much wasted time trying to be something or someone I wasn't meant to be. In the end Brutus didn't care , he showed me nothing but unconditional love.
A piece of my heart is missing and will never be whole until we are together again, but until that time comes I will try to continue on in this world living within the Grace, Beauty and Dignity of Brutus' Lessons.
